I was talking about this statement ” Im Proud of you” to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. The phrase "I’m proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, … I was very irritated and angry. We’re proud of you – everything that you were, everything that you are and everything that you’re going to become. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them.I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. We’ll always be honored to have known you and been friends with you, even if we’ve only known each other for a few semesters.We heard about your latest achievement from your parents and we just want to say that we’re so proud of you! The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didn’t understand. Exactly the information I was looking for – thank you!I think the phrase “I’m proud of you” is insulting, for the reasons noted above. It isn’t. You would have to know the whole story. I’m proud of everything you’ve achieved along the road to that moment with your boyfriend, including acknowledging the value of therapy and how you obviously use your experiences to bring compassion and care to young people in your professional life. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings.I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Which brings me to my next point.Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "I’m proud of you". Maybe instead of telling me he’s “proud” of me, like it’s such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffe–instead of saying how happy he is for me, as he’s never been belittling before.

And that’s enough for me.I have always struggled with this word. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Like I’m only worth anything just because I’m making money? Standing with my friends relaying the whole story, I was feeling pretty crummy. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our child’s latest achievement? Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. I opened up to him about my depression because I thought he'd understand and support me through it, and I can clearly remember my disappointment when he told me that other people have it worse and I should be grateful for my life.The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you.

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